…there are some brands — I call them prom king brands — that people do want to hear from. These are the brands that have somehow managed to build a better mousetrap (or at least create the illusion they have). Brands whose logos people will proudly (and unironically) wear on a cap or T-shirt.

The downside, of course, is that there are only about a dozen or so of these prom king brands and you can probably name them all by heart: Nike, Apple, Starbucks, Virgin, Whole Foods — you know the rest. Sports teams, TV shows, rock bands and movies also fall into the prom king category.

The rest of you are out of luck. You’re not the prom king and people aren’t all that thrilled to hang with you. Although Starbucks could probably start a Frappuccino Lovers Group on Facebook (for all I know, it already has), no one’s going to be joining a Maxwell House Lovers group anytime soon.